3 Easy Ways to be a Fun Mom

Finding a way to balance discipline with having fun is a great way to create a fun and loving household. Instead of just barking requests (we've all been there!), have some fun with your children. Here are a few ideas to get you started on those long days when you feel like all you do is say "no!!"

Say yes often - Let's face it, a mom who says no all the time is not really a fun mom to be around! Find ways to say "yes" to your children and your children might listen to you more. Create an environment where most of the choices available are ones that are acceptable.

For instance, the other day, Sienna and I were outside playing in the back yard. She kept running toward the sidewalk and steps (where it was not safe). I chased her, saying "no" firmly and brought her back. This went on about 3 or 4 times until I realized I needed to change things up. I gave her options by bringing out a few other toys (since she seemed to be bored) and then set boundaries by positioning myself so that she could not get to the area that she was not allowed to go. I began giving positive reinforcement for the way she was playing with the new toys and she quickly forgot about the steps. Although this does not work EVERY time, distraction can be a great tool for keeping a child happy.

If you have an older child, you can apply the same principle to an older child's requests. For instance, if you don't want your child to wear a certain piece of clothing to church and he continues to ask, give him options. Tell him that he can wear it to the park, around the house, or to a friends house but not to church. You could even give him other clothing options to help him along. Suggest a flowery dress of yours if they can't find anything!

Then set boundaries if they continue to ask. Clearly explain why they can't wear the item and end the discussion by explaining that the item will be taken away if they continue to ask. NOTE: Only pick this battle if the item is absolutely not acceptable, not just because you don't like the color.

Be silly. Of course this works especially well with younger children but it can also work with older children too! If your child keeps forgetting to do something, tell him that you will get out of the car (when you drop them off to school) and do a funny dance (the worm, running man, or cabbage patch are good options) in front of his friends.

Another idea? If they keep leaving their dirty socks in the hallway, tell them that you will write a big sign and put it in the car window that says, "Dan Smith has smelly feet".

Little children love it when you tell them that you are going to "squish them into a pancake" if they don't do something. They will most likely NOT do the task to get the "punishment" (you sitting on them) but then will finally get the job done (after all the giggling!)

Sing Songs My mother used to sing an old church song very loudly until we got out of bed on slow mornings. Hearing her sing "Rise and shine and give God your glory glory!" over and over again definitely got us moving! We didn't exactly show our appreciation...but we secretly liked 'how awful' the experience was!

Everyone likes karaoke! If your children's friends think you are fun, your children will think your fun too (even if it's embarrassing!) Sing a Justin Beiber song or an 80's song off key and your child might be pleasantly mortified! Sing loud and proud mama!

Most importantly, have fun with your kids. This is your chance to be a kid again and loose all the rules of proper ettiquette that we have as adults. Chances are, if you have fun, your children will too!

Making Goodbyes Easy

Does your children have a hard time leaving one place and going to another? Does it always seem like a HUGE production? I am a mother to a one year old and I also take care of 2 other one year olds. Sometimes, it takes every ounce of my patience just to get them down the stairs (could they be any slower?!) It sure isn't easy, but here are some ideas that just might help you.

1. Avoid the "good bye game". I know it's tempting to tell your child goodbye (even if you aren't really leaving). They might come with you this time, however, be careful. Sometimes this will work, but many times it will not. If one of those times are when your child is running toward a road or throwing a fit in a store, you will have a big problem. Your child will quickly learn that you won't really leave them.
To avoid this situation, only threaten when you really can follow through with your threats. Otherwise, you're child will think it's a game and want to play. Who wouldn't want to play a little chase? Don't chase if you don't want it to be a game.

2. Avoid long goodbyes. I know this is tough when you haven't seen a friend in a long time for example. But if you take 20 minutes to say goodbye every time you are leaving a friends house, your child will think "saying bye" really means "we're going to leave in 20 minutes".

3. Make goodbyes fun. Have your child give the host a hug or ask your child to be a special helper and carry something out the door. This will help take their mind off the fun they were just having.

3. Use 1-2-3 magic. This is a program that has been out for years. I started using it with children in 2000 and it really works when done correctly. Check out this article http://www.ehow.com_2106254_use-123-magic-discipline.html/ or buy the book, it's fantastic!

Disciplining Children using Creativity

My martial arts training has taught me to be flexible and forgiving in many situations. I have learned in my martial arts training that if you become stiff when an object hits you, you are more likely to sustain an injury. If you relax upon impact, a body part will be more forgiving and less likely to break or be damaged.

I know what you are thinking, "what's this have to do with disciplining my children?"

It's simple. Parents get into confrontations with their child and demand something to be exactly as they command. Well, children should obey, right? Yeah, well, that philosophy doesn't always work the way we anticipate! Allow me to explain...

A child's brain has not yet developed effective problem solving skills to handle many situations. They need a lot of direction and we can expect that there are times when they question authority. Questioning authority is a good thing (although it can drive us crazy!) By doing this, they develop their confidence and learn to navigate through their world.

Children should listen to their parents and be respectful, right? Yes, but there are times when YOU need to be creative in your problem solving skills to get the outcome you desire.

Here's an example. My friend tells a story about a time when he wanted to "run away" when he was a child. His mother said "OK, you can run away... just don't leave the yard!". My friend remembers going into the yard and then saying to himself, "what do I do now?" and returning to the house. We laugh about this story now, but in reality, his mother was very clever in the way that she disciplined using creativity.

Here's another example. If a child says they don't want to eat a veggie that's on their plate, you can say "OK, you don't have to eat ALL your peas, but you have to eat 4 bites since you are 4 years old." This changes the focus off the argument and onto fun by counting their spoonfuls.


Creativity is a very effective tool when disciplining your child. You may think that you do not have this skill, but it is a skill that anyone can acquire. Practice makes perfect. Sometimes, if you prepare to be a step ahead and plan for difficult situations, you can brainstorm ways to handle the situations before problems arise.

When you find yourself getting angry by your child's choices, take a deep breath and try to think outside of the box. Ask yourself if there is another route to get to your destination. You are a smart, capable adult that can handle the situation in a calm but assertive manor. Remember, the second you loose your patience, you've lost the war (which happens to all of us at times!) Try to use the skills I mentioned here to manage the situation in a different way to get the result you want.

Mastering the art of discipline is a challenging task. There ARE times when a child's behavior requires immediate consequences. However, insisting that your child obey EVERYTHING you say is unrealistic and will set you up for failure. By using creativity, you can set boundaries and yet still diffuse the situation and allow your child the freedom to learn on his or her own. Developing these skills will not only help you avoid disastrous situations but also build trust and respect between you and your child.