What We Can Learn from Hollywood's Most Famous Parents

One of Hollywood’s biggest couples, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, has appeared to survive the stress of Hollywood. We think our lives are stressful, but how do they manage along with two huge careers and a whole lot of media attention?

Oprah recently interviewed this amazing couple and they revealed some interesting ideas about how they view the family unit. First of all, they have designed a family business plan. I am a huge fan of goals and plans so this definitely sparked my attention. They decided that they need a plan to “facilitate and encourage the individuality of their children.” What a great idea!! They also mentioned that they expect their children to find their own way to add to the family group, neighborhood, and humanity.

As a person who has ADD, I definitely think staying on a plan is helpful to stay focused on your priorities. If having a respectful, happy family is a priority than it makes perfect sense to have a plan so everyone is on the same page and knows their role and expectations.

So, how do Will and Jada keep the spark alive in their relationship? Check out this clip http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Talks-About-How-She-Keeps-the-Spark-Alive-Video. I have a hard time understanding how Jada Pinkett Smith has to work at being attractive to her spouse (considering she is so freakin’ beautiful!) but I’m sure every couple has challenges in this area at times in their relationship. It’s nice to know I’m not alone at having to work at keeping my sex life alive sometimes! But I believe that keeping your love alive as a couple, keeps the family alive as a whole.

Finally, the Smiths’ allowed their young daughter to shave the sides of her hair and shave a star design into it. Hmmm…If my daughter asked me if she could do that, how would I respond? That’s a tough one! Well, I would not be excited about it for sure, but isn’t it my job to encourage her to be proud of who she is, make her think she is beautiful no matter what, and encourage her to be creative? Will explained, “Your children can have as much ‘freedom’ as they can handle, then if they make a mistake you have to pull back those freedoms. Not necessarily in punishments, but revoke some freedoms.”

It’s a struggle to pick your battles when your children want something that you don’t especially like, but isn’t it our job to encourage individuality? After hearing the Smith’s perspective, I will think again when my daughter asks me for something I think is absolutely ridiculous.

I find this Hollywood couple to be such an inspiration to the everyday family. Although we look at them like they ‘have it made’, I am convinced that living in the spotlight has tremendous challenges. Although, every family has their problems, I really admire their motivation, devotion, and respect for one another and feel we can all learn from their ideas….I know I have!

Finding exercise for you while playing with the kids

For kids of any age:
Walk or run!! With kids of any age you can ALWAYS find a way to run or walk with them! Just get outside or find a large indoor place and start moving!

Babies

Even though babies don’t have a long attention span, you can throw different exercises in here or there and it will make a difference!
Do squats while they are in their bumbo or baby swing. Each time you get close to them make a funny face. To really add a challenge, squat then jump facing back then jump and face forward. After only a few of these you will feel it and the baby will love it!
Lift the baby in the air and then bring them close to your chest doing chest presses. Count to 10 then repeat!
Lay your baby on the floor facing you and do a push up over top of them. Each time you come down give them a kiss!
Dance around the house with your baby in your arms. Bend your knees and raise to your toes whenever you feel inclined. You’re baby will love the range in levels and you will get a great lower body workout!
Crawl with your baby. Once they start crawling they love it when you chase them on your hands and knees!
Sit your child on your lap and do sit ups. Depending on your child’s age you can adapt the sit up but you can find a way to make it work!

Just start moving! Babies love movement so start throwing some punches in the air or doing jump rope…they will love it (at least for a few minutes!)

Toddlers/Kids
Remember with kids, presentation is everything! If you present these activities in a fun way they will think it is fun! It also helps if you ask them, “Would you like to do an obstacle course or race me-YOU get to choose what we do! And you have all my attention!”

Obstacle course- I have made a bazillion obstacle courses in my day! On rainy days they are great for an inside activity and on sunny days they are great for an outdoor activity. Find things that you can go under, over or through. Once you come up with some ideas and add some obstacles such as chairs or jump ropes, then you can do it going the opposite way or do it while doing a crab walk. They can even do it going backward or hoping on one foot!
Races-You can race kids anywhere and kids love it! I don’t think I need to explain any more than that!! You can do races while hopping, skipping, rolling, crab walking…use your imagination! If you want to add a challenge, touch the ground at one point during the race!
Playing a sport – So you aren’t exactly the athletic type? So what? Anyone can learn to do kickball, basketball, or soccor. The best part is your kids may not know what the real rules are so you can make it up on your own! Remember to keep it simple and not expect a lot. If they want to make up a rule, let them make up a rule! Be flexible and let them have fun….heck maybe you will too!!! If you have a kid who is a little bit older ask them to TEACH you how to play (and make funny mistakes so they laugh and get to correct you!) Act like you know nothing so they have to teach you.

The trick to exercising with your kids is just to stop thinking about what you should be doing and start doing SOMETHING...anything!! Just start moving! Try to enjoy yourself when doing these activities! You will be surprised how easy it is (and how much faster your day will go!)

What's better? "doing it all" or doing a few things and actually being engaged?

Keep it simple? I actually have a hard time with this. I know, I know. How can I run a site called Simply Siena when I have trouble doing it? Well, here's the answer!
I definitely have a bad case of ADD, but I love having ADD! Sounds weird, right? Well, it makes me who I am. I am very creative. I can appreciate 10 things at one time! That being said, I also really appreciate when things are simple and organized so that I can focus when needed. Martial Arts has really helped me to grow in this area. I have learned to use self discipline and minimize distractions to achieve my desired goals.
We make things so complicated sometimes, don't we? We want it all (and more!) for ourselves and for our children. But what is having it all? Are we just trying to keep up with the Jones or is what we have really enough?
Look for all the simple pleasures life has to offer. Turn off the t.v. Pick a few things you need to do and forget all the rest! Which one is better? Not being engaged in life and "doing it all"? Or doing less things and giving it all you have? Hmmmm. Don't get me wrong...I know that as a mother it is a necessity to multitask throughout the day but I try to limit it as much as possible! Since my daughter is a one year old, she pretty much demands all my attention when she is awake (and not confined!) For me, when I try to do too much I usually end up having a difficult day.
So, my conclusion? It IS simple. Life IS simple if we make it that way!
Enjoy the day my wonderful mommies!

What is blogging all about and how do people find the time for it?

What is this blogging thing all about anyway? What mom has time for it and why?
There are many types of blogs. Blogging has become quite a phenomenon these days. A blog is actually very simple. It is basically just an internet page for someone to express their thoughts or ideas and can be done in a million ways. One way people blog is to have a page with family photos and updates for other family members. This is a great way to keep their family members who live far away in the loop. However, with so many people using Facebook these days, this has fizzled out quite a bit.

To be honest, I believe reading blogs is a guilty pleasure (but a pleasure none the less!) While people used to read opinions in newspapers and magazines, they now turn to blogs. Some people (like me) replace reading blogs with house cleaning!

If you are looking for a break in the day, Life Hacker www.lifehacker.com is a great site full of shortcuts, websites and tips for everyday living (great for moms). There are so many other blogs related to sports, politics, exercise, and just about anything you can imagine. You just have to look for them.

About mommy bloggers…
Just like the rest of the blogging population, the internet is saturated with mommy bloggers. Many of these mommy bloggers have found quite a niche and a following. Many are quite bland (in my opinion). The most well known mommy bloggers provide product reviews, humorous stories, or have a certain focus. Some of these include (but not limited to) working mom, green mom, coupon mom, or home school mom. If you find a blog that you share a passion with, it can be very refreshing to hear stories or ideas that you can relate to. If you are a mom with a particular interest, try googling mommy bloggers and whatever it is you are into. You may be surprised to find out how many other moms share your interests.

There are a gazillion blogs out there and they are tripling every year. Starting a blog is a great way for people to express ideas. It can be annoying or boring to read someone else’s “opinion” but if you find someone's blog that you really respect and value their information, you may find it very appealing!

If you are interested in starting your own blog, don’t hesitate! It can be a great way to express your creativity and you can share it with as few or many people as you like. Check out http://www.blogger.com/ or http://www.wordpress.com/ for free, easy ways to start a blog in the matter of minutes! Enjoy!

SIMPLY SIENA TIP:
Do you want to take ten minutes of downtime for yourself to surf the web but hate how time gets away from you? Set an egg timer. You may be surprised how good you feel once you give yourself a little break in the day!

How centered is your child?

As moms, we always strive to find the perfect balance (a never ending challenge!). When we are not balanced, we end up having anxiety, getting depressed, overeating, or turning to some other entity to cure our feeling of imbalance. Everyone deals with problems in different ways but our bodies have a way of reflecting the truth. Our bodies let us know when things are out of whack.
So,what about our children? Children need balance too. If they are not balanced, you will see evidence of problems such as outbursts or overeating (just a few examples). Follow your mothers intuition and if you see continuous problems, make a change. Here are some ideas to help you along.
child related topics
1. Engage in interactive activities with your children and limit computer/watching for you and your child. Children need love, your love and attention. Spend quality time with them.
2. Enroll your child in Martial arts or Yoga. More and more people are beginning to see the benefits of these schools of discipline for their children. These activities will help your child learn self discipline, relaxation, and yes...balance!
3. Spirituality. Whatever it is you believe in, having an outside entity to lean on can relieve pressure and help your child to forgive themselves.
4. Donate/volunteer. Teaching children to give to others helps them learn empathy. Seeing others in need can open their eyes to the challenges the others go through.
5. Focus conversations on child related topics and avoid adult issues when possible. It's really hard sometimes but we need to realize that some of the topics we are discussing with (or around) our kids can have a negative impact on them. Children should mostly focus on child related issues...taking turns, playing nicely, self discipline, cooperation, etc.

Paying attention to our own bodies is so important. If we learn to recognize when we need more balance (ie. exercise, talking to someone, alone time, eating healthier, change in a job, etc.) then it will be easier to recognize our children's needs. Being perfectly balalnced is impossible, but feeling centered will improve quality of life and lead to many successes (for you and your child!)

Are you a classy mom?

What does it take to be a classy mom?
Being classy is more than just appearance. It's about grace, elegance, and sophistication. Here are a few ideas.

1. Be kind.
You will not look classy screaming at your kid in Target! Use your manners with your children and discipline them appropriately. Explain to them what they did wrong and give consequences. Show them kindness by being respectful and courteous to others.
Be a good listener. If you talk about yourself and your experiences too much it can come off as pompus. Noone likes a "know it all". You can't listen and talk at the same time, so zip your lip and listen to what others have to say...you just might learn something!

2. Be generous
Give back to those in need as well as your community. Donate money or time to a good cause. Remember that generosity doesn't necessarily mean giving "things". Sometimes, it's best to give someone support, love and resources and let them find their own way.

3. Look good
Although being classy isn't just about how you look, lets face it..it is important! Everyone has days when they don't get out of their sweatpants or the comfy maternity shirt (that they should have given away after they had their baby!) Although this is necessary on some days, don't make a habit of it! If your heading out (or even if your not!), put on nice jeans, a cute top and some high heeled boots. At the very least, curl your eyelashes (brightens up tired eyes), apply some blush, and throw on some lip gloss. Take a moment to check out the latest styles FOR YOUR AGE. Don't get caught up in wearing something too trendy, it will make you look like your trying to hard and may not be appropriate (i.e. mini skirts and side ponytails). The truth is, when you look good, you will feel better about yourself.

4. Be confident

Don't compare yourself to the mom that always looks like she has it all together in your playgroup. No one has it ALL together so give yourself a break and relax! Be genuine. The classy mommies in Hollywood (Jennifer Garner and Gwenyth Paltrow come to mind) are considered classy because they are real. They are often seen playing with their kids, getting dirty, and showing affection. Enjoy your children and appreciate the joy they bring. Finally, if you truly feel good about yourself, others will think that they should feel good about you too!! Smile and enjoy the wonderful gift of motherhood!

For many more tips and ideas...check out http://www.classymommy.com/!! I love this site! If you don't see this link, drag your cursor over it and click to go to the link!

Showing your kids the real priorities in life!

Life gets so busy and it's sometimes unclear what's REALLY important.
Every time my husband and I depart from each other, we kiss and say I love you.
It occurred to me just how important this is to me and our family. This little ritual reminds us of what's important and what's a priority. There's nothing that can't wait for you to greet your loved ones and show them some love when you walk in the door. Sharing eye contact and exchanging a kiss is a great way to remind each other that you are loved. After a long day (crying babies, poopy diapers, and no interaction with other adults!), seeing my husband's smile and friendly greeting makes me feel the warmth that marriage and family bring to my life.
Even when we are going through a rough patch where you and your loved ones are not exactly seeing eye to eye, it's still important to say "I love you". In a busy, hectic world, these small gestures are ways of reminding each other what's important and setting an example to your children of what you find a true priority in your life.

Why do I keep doing the same thing then regret it and feel guilty?

One of the amazing things about being a mommy is seeing the world through a child's eyes. The wonder, the excitement and the honesty that children bring.

PLEASE COMMIT TO READING THIS ARTICLE TO THE END SO YOU HEAR ME OUT!

Having a child can bring back many patterns that evolved during your childhood-the good, the bad, and the ugly. We don't realize that we create the patterns that we utilize on a daily basis out of survival from our childhood. It sounds complicated but it's actually very simple. If we had a parent that depended on us as a child, then we develop a sense of pride from helping people and a lack of feeling control because the parent was depending on the child. If we had a chaotic childhood (perhaps fighting and/or divorce), than we might have developed ways to act out to get our parents attention. If we were abandoned in some way as a child then we might find a way to control our environment in order to feel security. If you were abused as a child than you might do anything and everything we can to be the exact and TOTAL opposite of your parents. We develop coping mechanisms for survival as children in order to get our needs met.

Patterns are cyclical and it's rare that you will find a child who does not grow up to be a parent similar to their parents, it's human nature.

That being said, if you can find the strength and courage to take a good look at your childhood, you may realize why you do things the way you do. If it's something you don't like, understanding fully why you've developed that pattern can help you to change your ways. You can start to recognize these patterns and tell yourself that you don't need to use these behaviors anymore because you are an adult and have the power to control the situation in a different way now. If its something you like, appreciate the talent that your parent gave you!

Journaling or talking to a therapist is a great way to work through these issues and grow as a person, a wife and a mother. Remember, this does NOT mean that your parents were bad parents-it just means that they made mistakes (just like we will!!) Understanding your inner child can help to unlock your patterns and help you to create new ways of doing things.

My New Body

My body is not what it used to be. Will it ever be? I’m not sure. I secretly really enjoy wearing the comfy maternity clothes that now make me feel skinny! My wardrobe is only one of the many crazy changes in my life right now but having a baby and being a mommy is the most wonderful thing I could imagine.

Before having my daughter, I used to do karate, push ups, run, lift weights..you name it. Suddenly these things have changed. I can now do most of these things but it's taken a while. I had to have some patience to allow my body to get back to what it used to be able to do.

Having a baby has taught me to SLOW down. It wasn’t until I had my daughter Siena that I was able to focus my mind enough to do yoga or walk down the street and enjoy the sights, sounds and smells out what was around me. Last year at this time, I would have sped right by the beautiful sights with my ipod blaring and pedometer clicking. I would have been wearing the latest work out outfits (and looked damn good too!) Now...as I walk with my baby tucked in her baby bjorn, all I think about is how blessed I am and how beautiful life can be. If I pass a neighbor I might wonder, does my outfit even match?!

Don’t get me wrong…I will be on the mats again and pounding the pavement with my running shoes. But if I never have six pack abs again..it will all be worth it for the amazing miracle that I can call my daughter.

I went to a fitness center in my area right after I was cleared to work out again. They offer a ongoing special 60 days for $60 (not including childcare) The only requirement is a doctors note (which my doctor easily filled out the paperwork and faxed it the day I asked for it). I took advantage of this when I was cleared to exercise (6 weeks after my daughter was born) and it was a great chance for me to get out of the house and have some me time…plus I lost weight and felt better about myself!! Get your body moving and you will start to feel like yourself again!