Fun activities that don't cost a dime!

It’s getting to be the end of the summer and we’re all running out of ideas (and money) for what to do with the kiddos…

There are many things you can do with your children that will build memories for a lifetime and don’t cost a thing and you don’t need to buy expensive toys. Remember, it’s all about presentation!! The majority of the time, if you enjoy it-they will too!! Also, take one for the team and remember that sometimes you have to get dirty or do boring things but spending quality time with your kiddo is what really matters! Here are a few of my ideas.

1. Go to your local library Whatever your child’s age, the library can be a great place if you make it fun. Enjoy story times, read books together, or play with the train sets or toys they have. Be sure to get down on your child’s level so they feel like you want to play WITH them (especially if they are shy around other children it helps to have you there!)
NOTE: Almost every library these days has computers with games. BEWARE- Make sure you put limits on computer time before going into the library or your child will only want to do that and nothing else!!!

Remember-some area libraries are better than others or offer different things-check out more than one library in your area to change things up!! Search on the internet for your area libraries!

2. Take a Walk – make walking fun! Depending on your child’s age you can turn finding things on your walk into a game! For example “Do you want to go on a nature walk? What do you think we will find?” or “Should we go visit the stream or the horsies? You pick!!” Giving options is always helpful and makes children feel included and not just bossed around-even though you are still the boss!;)

3. Treasure hunt – this is always fun for ALL ages. It takes some prep work but they LOVE it! Make a list of 10 places where you can hide little prizes (can wrap pretzels in aluminum foil or gold fish, a few candies, etc.) Give the child a list of 10 questions pertaining to the places where you hid the prizes. For example for a 9 year old you may say “I like to mix things up” for something hidden in a blender. For a 3 year old you might say “people lay on me and I often hear stories” for an item hidden in the bed. Obviously it should be much easier for the 3 year old. This game can take a while and be very fun!!

4. Go to a Park – Try a different park or bring different toys to the park. Maybe even meet someone new to mix things up a little. Many parks in the area offer very different things from sand boxes to a jungle gym that might just have a slightly different swing or monkey bars that they might love!! I used to bring different toys to a nearby park that had a sandbox and the 3 year old I was watching loved it!! I also would get in the sand and played with him which often helps when he would get bored. Check out parks using the internet-there might be one close by that you have never seen!

Being the "Good Enough" parent

It’s so easy to get over whelmed by the tasks at hand when you’re a parent. Weather it’s spending enough time with your child, keeping the house clean, paying the bills on time, keeping a job, providing healthy meals, helping with homework, or being a good wife (or significant other). The list goes on and on of the priorities we have as parents.

There are some days when the dishes pile up, the laundry goes undone, and the floor is a MESS. Ask yourself whats most important? Does that mean you’re a bad mother? Absolutely not! Step back and look at the big picture. Is your child happy? Are you happy? Is the house safe? Are all the bellies fed?

We put enormous amounts of pressure on ourselves, often to be let down by unrealistic expectations. We read about omega 3’s, tap water, vaccines, multivitamins, allergies and on and on. We compete with the Jones' and want to give our children the best toys, house or bike. It’s enough to worry us into the grave sometimes. Remember back to when you were a child. Most likely, you will not think back and wish that you’re parent had spent more time on housework or had healthier meals. You probably won’t wish that you had Atari before the other kids. For the most part, to meet a child’s needs is simple. Give them love, keep them safe and provide a nurturing environment. What does being a good parent mean to you? Chances are, you’re child will not go to their therapist as an adult and say, “I really wish my mom would have dusted more” or “My parents should have made sure I went to church every week instead of every other week” (and if they do than their in denial because you’re going to screw up a lot worse that that!!) Enjoy your children. Hug them. Kiss them. Smile at them. Being given the gift of life is one of the most special things that we often take for granted in every day life.

Unfortunately, it often takes the loss of a loved one for you to really enjoy what’s in front of you. But it doesn’t need to be that way if we slow down and look around us. Step back and appreciate the joy of parenthood. Look at the beautiful smile on your child’s face and remember that parenthood is a gift.

Sometimes, we have to put down our parenting books and say, “I am a good enough parent and that is ok!”

Are you a nag?

Do you feel like you are often asking, begging, or pleading for something to happen and no one listens? Maybe you need a different approach!

Women are often not very good at putting healthy boundaries in place. It is often seen as “being a bitch” if you put your foot down on something. But this isn’t so. Putting your foot down on something and then giving consequences is often a healthy and productive way of getting to a solution.

Children, especially, crave limits and boundaries. They will often push you to your limits to find out if you really mean what you say and if they are safe someone who is confident and secure. This set of behaviors which invole testing starts at a very young age and can easily go into adulthood. There are steps you can take to allow a more productive outcome (and a happier family dynamic!)

First, ask yourself if the expectation is reasonable (i.e. is it fair to make my 3 year old clean the toilet rim every time he pees for example, or do I need to just choose my battles). Next, if your expectation is reasonable, set the rules and expectations in a clear, age appropriate way and explain why it is necessary for the problem to be solved (i.e. “You room needs to stay clean so that it’s a safe place and you learn responsibility when you’re on your own”. A three, for example, they do not need to know all the reasons other than you are the parent and that you know whats best for them. Then explain the consequences.

Consequences are tough but a necessary part of raising a child. If your child doesn’t learn consequences now it will be a lot tougher when they are out on their own and they don’t think they have to pay their bills or get to their job on time. When giving consequences, do it in a direct and unemotional way. DO NOT DISCUSS DURING THE CONSEQUENCE!! You can discuss later if appropriate but NEVER during the consequence. IF you get in a debate about it then it will seem like you are trying to prove yourself as if what you’re saying may be negotiable. If you have thought long and hard about this situation than feel confident that you are doing the right thing. Believe me, they will respect you for it later!

Are you sick of asking your husband or significant other for the same thing over and over again? Think about the problem and the solution and sit down with your husband and explain that you do not want to keep discussing this problem and therefore ask him how the 2 of you can solve the problem as a team. Use “we” statements. Instead of “you” need to fix this problem, say “we” need to fix this problem! If the problem is that you need more help around the house for example, explain how you feel than set boundaries by stating that if the problem doesn’t change than you will need to hire someone (for example). Set a deadline and then drop the issue. Sometimes it takes some creativity to come up with a solution that works for both of you so be open minded.

If you’re a person who is known to give empty threats than it will take some time for people to learn that you mean what you say and this can be a grueling task for all involved. Hang in there…the payoffs will be a happier you and ultimately a happier family!!

Planning a birthday party?

Having a child’s birthday party can be very stressful and frustrating if it’s expensive and chaotic. KEEP IT SIMPLE (and fun!) with my tips to have an awesome party.

Keep your party simple
Kids do not need a lot! A change of scenery, their friends, and some cake will almost always ensure a great time!! Remember, knowing that it’s they’re special day is the fun part of a birthday party and that is FREE!

Be prepared
Think ahead, make lists and ask for help. Remember, the more prepared you are the easier everything will be when the day comes. I have found that people are more than willing to help if you ask. LISTEN to your child and ask them what they would like! Give some ideas or suggestions to get them started. Have them help with decorating or picking out items to get them excited! Giving them a job (making signs or invitations) can make them feel proud and keeping them busy will allow you to do what you need to do!

Ask for ideas
Talk to other moms about what they have used, what they liked and what they didn’t like. A friend of mine had an idea for a fishing party. She posted a question on her facebook status to see if anyone had any ideas. You wouldn’t believe the amount of ideas and suggestions that came “floating” in (no pun intended!)

Shop efficiently
Set a budget and stick to it so you won’t regret spending too much. Remember, fun does NOT = expensive. I promise you! The dollar store and party stores are great places to shop for birthday supplies. Oriental Trading http://www.orientaltrading.com/ is also a great resource. Subscribe to their catalog for great theme ideas and all-in-one stop shopping (and it’s cheap too!)

Be realistic
If you are not the kind of person who likes hosting a party and you have the money, SEND THE PARTY ELSEWHERE! (No-this does not mean you’re a bad mom!!)
BOUNCE companies are popping up everywhere and kids (and adults) absolutely LOVE these places. These places are essentially an indoor playground of inflated bouncing machines. From the experiences I have had most of these places are safe, easy and fun for all. A nearby place offers a complete party for $430.00. This includes up to 25 guests, pizza, cake, t-shirt, invitations and professionals to run the party.

Whatever your child’s interests are (dancing, soccer, martial arts) ask around at the place your child takes lessons or places that offer lessons. NOTE: This can be a great opportunity for your child to find out weather he wants take lessons in that particular thing!

RELAX and ENJOY!
Savor your child’s youth and excitement-it won’t last forever! Take lots of pictures (another thing you can ask someone to do!) and remember that in time you will miss these days.

Do you have more questions or need more help? Check out this great article for more great tips for kid’s birthday party http://www.amazingmoms.com/htm/partytips.htm.

Simply Egg-cellent Breakfast

Simply Egg-cellent Breakfast

You want to eat healthy starting from the beginning of the day, but your mornings are so busy that it gets away from you. I understand. Just getting my coffee (which is a MUST have for me!) is a big production and takes time away from everything else. Without a little preparation and planning you end up eating your child’s leftovers, a donut, or some type of quick carb-alicious breakfast! Here’s a great, simple way to eat healthy amidst a hurried morning!

Whatever the diet is, nutrition/diet experts will agree that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Without a healthy breakfast, you will most likely start a day of sugar rushes and crashes leading to eating other unhealthy foods throughout your day. You might end your day by eating late in the evening (usually an unhealthy snack) leading to not being hungry in the morning. This is a vicious cycle of unhealthy eating causing weight gain and lethargy. So, don’t skip breakfast!!

OMELETS are one of my favorite foods but often take a lot of time to prepare. Chopping up the ingredients and then cleaning up the pans all require a lot of time. Here’s my SIMPLE trick to eating omelets in a hurry.

Buy a large pack of eggs (I buy an 18 pack). Pick a time when the kids are busy (i.e. Dad is home or the kids are napping or in bed). This is a time when you can focus on YOUR health (for once!). Get all your ingredients out (see below). Start cooking your LARGE batch of omelets to have throughout the week. Spray your pan with a little olive oil or some Pam spray. Use 3-4 egg whites for EACH omelets (I like to throw in a little of the yolk). Add veggies, garlic, salt and pepper. Get out a Tupperware container and put each omelets in the container separated by a piece of wax paper (or even just a paper towel!)

WaaaLaaaa.. you now have your omelets ready for the week!! Just heat up each one in the microwave when you’re ready for a healthy, yummy, great start to your day!!

Tips for adding some ZEST to your omelets so you don’t get bored:

Use different veggies (I usually get whatever is on sale). The list of things you can add to omelets is ENDLESS-mushrooms (canned or fresh), tomatoes, peppers, onions, avocado, spinach are all great ingredients (just to name a few!) You can throw in anything you have that you want to use before it goes bad. Even shrimp or clams can add a great addition if you want to be fancy!

Try different spices - Lately, I have been on an oregano kick but parsley, basil and many other spices add a great flavor as well. Garlic is usually a must have for me personally. I buy the minced garlic in a jar because it’s easy.

Use different cheeses – Using different cheeses can really make an omelets taste different and add flavor. I love feta but will usually use whatever I have or whatever is on sale.

*****If you are really rushed-Whisk eggs in a bowl and microwave them for an instant breakfast!

How to Save Money Buying Used Goods

How to Save Money Buying Used Baby Goods

As wonderful as having a baby is, it can mean a huge dent in your pocket. Between diapers, nursing items or formula, daycare, babysitter, and co pays at the doctors (just to name a few) there are many new expenses in your budget. Don’t let these expenses get you down!

Remember that people go through baby items SO quickly they are often trying to get rid of things that are gently used or sometimes not even used at all.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when preparing for a baby (or updating old baby items!)

Shop consignment for baby/kid items. Moms of multiples sales are great with products that are barely used! Churches often have annual or bi annual consignment sales. I have walked away with bags and bags of items for under $50.00 at these sales. Butterflies & Blossoms Consignment Shop in West Chester is one of my favorite place to buy my daughter's clothes. They also have a whole room of great quality maternity clothes, some toys and some other items such as a bouncer seat or bassinet.

Do you need furniture for your child? If you are lucky enough to be handy or have a handy husband, don’t hesitate to buy used furniture! It usually only takes some paint and some new hardware to make an old item look brand new! Go to a store that sells used furniture such as Good Will or The Habitat for Humanity. Both of these are nationwide chains. There is Habitat for Humanity store in Coatesville, PA that often has some great items for dirt cheap!

I personally LOVE Craigslist for any of your childs needs. Even though it is a gamble, I bought many baby items including 2 swings, changing table, exersaucer, pack and play, crib sheet set (just to name a few!) and I never had a bad experience. If you use Craigslist, one helpful tip is to type in the town you live in where you search, that way you do not have to drive all over the state to get items you want. Also, remember to try to talk people down in price. People are usually just trying to get rid of the item and will lower their price if you ask. Also, remember to ask them if they have any other baby items they are trying to get rid of. We often got several items from the same person giving a discount for all items.

When using any classified website, be sure to meet people in a public place in daylight and let people know where you are. If you have a bad feeling about it, DON’T do it. Use your common sense.

One final tip when shopping for baby items, keep it simple! Babies don’t require fancy toys or gadgets-they respond mostly to human faces, funny noises and love. Babies also ruin or out grow clothes very quickly.

What are your ideas that have helped you save money with a little one? Please write a comment and let us know!!

Why do women worry so much and men seem so carefree?

It seems as though many women (especially moms) worry constantly. Is this normal?

A friend of mine was recently talking about the guilt of sending her child to day care.

She explained that she would feel guilty about her monetary contribution to the family if she didn’t work. She thought long and hard about this decision before going back to work and researched the best daycare centers but yet still feels guilty.

I was chatting with another friend the other day who was expressing her frustrations about breastfeeding. She would like to stop breastfeeding but is afraid she would feel an enormous amount of guilt. I believe this to be a very common frustration among new moms. She further explained that she is not producing enough milk. She dreads feeding her child.

The thing is-she is not happy either way. If she quits breastfeeding then she will feel guilty. If she continues breastfeeding, then she will feel frustrated because every feeding is so stressful for her.

Sometimes, I find it so hard to live in the moment and enjoy the wonderful things in my life. Why do we worry so much about the decisions that we make? Why do men seem to be so carefree? I have been thinking about this topic for a while and researched some ideas. I found the articles to be very interesting. The one thing that all articles seem to agree on is that women DO NOT worry more than men-they simply express it differently.

Check out this article and let me know what you think!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-Men-and-Women-Worry-Differently?&id=292305

ALL THE SECRETS TO GOOD SLEEP HABITS

Getting a good nights sleep is essential for providing a happy, productive environment for you and your baby. During the first 3 months a baby needs food frequently (especially if you are breast feeding which a baby digests quicker than formula). It is almost impossible to get a full night's sleep at this point. Even if your baby is sleeping through the night early on, your doctor might suggest waking him or her up to feed. At this point if you’re lucky enough to be able to sleep when your baby sleeps (I never could!) than you definitely should do that! Taking naps during the day is a wonderful thing for moms with newborns. Try to take advantage of your ability to run errands while your newborn will sleep right through. Pretty soon you won’t be so lucky and you will see the need for putting your baby in their crib for nap time.

I have researched many ideas and theories on how to provide good sleeping habits for a baby. I feel that it is an integral piece to their health and well being. There are 2 books which are very helpful-‘The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer’ by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau and ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’ by Marc-Weissbluth are both excellent resources on the subject. The baby whisperer also has a great website for seeing how much your baby should be sleeping at different ages and what different other babies schedules look like. I took bits and pieces from many different sources and made a routine that worked for me and my family.

Many people find it very helpful to keep a bedtime routine. This is something you can start very early. It can include bath, feeding, rocking, reading a book and singing. Starting to put the baby in her crib is also good for you and your significant other to get some alone time. Once the baby is down for the night, keep any feedings or diaper changes very quiet (no talking or playing) and keep the lights off with just enough light from a night light or hallway light for you to see what you’re doing. My baby really had her days and night mixed up and this helped a lot.

After around 3 months your baby can start getting A LITTLE bit of a routine. Remember every baby is different and what works for one family may not work for another. One thing all experts seem to have in common is that you should never wake a sleeping baby and never try to keep them awake or “wear them out”. At 3 months, I stayed home for a week straight to really figure out my daughters sleep habits. I learned her signs of tiredness and started putting her in her crib for naps. This really helped. Every 2 hours is a good baseline for most babies to start needing sleep. Once a baby gets overtired it can get really ugly for you and for the baby. When my daughter started getting better naps she started sleeping MUCH better at night and would only waking to eat-fabulous!

Remember, these are just ideas of what worked for me. It’s best to listen to what works for others but then create a system that works for you and your family. Also, don’t hesitate to call your doctor with any questions or concerns. I call my doctors office frequently. One time I called my doctor 3 times because my child was sleeping SO MUCH! The nurses were very understanding and never annoyed (at least they didn't seem to be!) Anyway, you pay them good money for your baby’s care they should be able to answer your questions!!

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Feeling lonely while home with a newborn??

It's very normal to feel lonely, sad or even CRAZY during this huge time of transition! First of all, remember that your life just did a 360. As wonderful as the experience of having a child is, it is a huge time of transition for many things. Your body has changed. Your hormones are raging, your job status has changed (even if it's only for the interim), the relationship with your significant other is different, there are increased pressure on your finances, and you are getting to know your new role as a mommy!!
There are many, many women who have been in the same boat as you and it can feel very overwhelming!

Follow these helpful hints to get you through your times of difficulty...
1. Get outside! Sunlight has been proven to help with depression!
2. Exercise! I know it's the last thing you feel like doing but just a little walk or an exercise video can make a huge difference!
3. Talk to friends!
4. Join a playgroup! Even if it's your first child and your child won't get anything out of it...you will!! You may be surprised at how many playgroups there are if you look. Search for playgroups in your county online or talk to other mommies in your neighborhood. If you don't find any that your like, make your own!! You can start a meetup.com group for $35.00 and can access calendars, message boards and pictures of your group!
5. Try to eat healthy! I know it's hard when you are having cravings or are simply trying to throw down whatever is easiest at the time. But try to eat mostly fruits, veggies, and whole grains so you are putting good gas in your engine!!

REMEMBER....postpartum depression is VERY real and can strike during pregnancy or up to a year after childbirth. If you are having the blues for more than a week or 2 seek help from a professional!!
Paula Padget Counseling and Coaching Associates is an excellent place to go for life coach/therapist in Chester County, PA. She specializes in women and depression and offers great tools to get you through difficult time. See her website for more details http://www.paulapadget.com/.

Tracking babies eating and sleeping

I know whats it's like....Days are turning into nights and through your blurry vision you can't keep track of when your baby is going to be due for food or a diaper change. Sometimes, you need to let your pediatrician know how many times your baby is doing something in particular but it's difficult to keep track of the endless stinky diapers that cross your baby's bottom.

One easy way to help keep track of these essential things are the handy trackers on http://www.thebump/ website. These are great date sheets for moms tracking patterns of sleeping, eating and many other things. They are also handy for passing on information to your spouse or babysitter of what your babies day looks like.

As we mentioned before, the ITZbeen baby care timer is a great device for timing your babies sleeping, eating, and anything else you need to track. See the earlier post for more information.

My New Body

My body is not what it used to be. Will it ever be? I’m not sure. I secretly really enjoy wearing the comfy maternity clothes that now make me feel skinny! My wardrobe is only one of the many crazy changes in my life right now but having a baby and being a mommy is the most wonderful thing I could imagine.

Before having my daughter, I used to do karate, push ups, run, lift weights..you name it. Suddenly these things have changed. I can now do most of these things but it's taken a while. I had to have some patience to allow my body to get back to what it used to be able to do.

Having a baby has taught me to SLOW down. It wasn’t until I had my daughter Siena that I was able to focus my mind enough to do yoga or walk down the street and enjoy the sights, sounds and smells out what was around me. Last year at this time, I would have sped right by the beautiful sights with my ipod blaring and pedometer clicking. I would have been wearing the latest work out outfits (and looked damn good too!) Now...as I walk with my baby tucked in her baby bjorn, all I think about is how blessed I am and how beautiful life can be. If I pass a neighbor I might wonder, does my outfit even match?!

Don’t get me wrong…I will be on the mats again and pounding the pavement with my running shoes. But if I never have six pack abs again..it will all be worth it for the amazing miracle that I can call my daughter.

I went to a fitness center in my area right after I was cleared to work out again. They offer a ongoing special 60 days for $60 (not including childcare) The only requirement is a doctors note (which my doctor easily filled out the paperwork and faxed it the day I asked for it). I took advantage of this when I was cleared to exercise (6 weeks after my daughter was born) and it was a great chance for me to get out of the house and have some me time…plus I lost weight and felt better about myself!! Get your body moving and you will start to feel like yourself again!

How to stay balanced and be productive

Trying to be your own boss and keep a productive schedule is nearly impossible these days!

A day in my life sometime goes like this...
The baby is down for a nap and I QUICKLY run to the computer to check my emails and next thing I know the baby is awake, crying and I didn’t get A THING done!! What happened to the time?? Between facebook, email, and my "to do" list I am easily over my head and feeling pulled in a million directions. DEEEEEP breath. Why do I put stress onto myself??

I always knew I had a tendency to be a little ADD. Then I started martial arts and quickly learned that structure and discipline was my best friend. Having a plan and sticking to it helps me feel safe and productive.

There are 2 things help me immensely when I feel pulled in a million directions. First, I have a goal sheet that is hanging in my office and on my refridgerator. The goals are very general (ie.-eating healthy, being a good mom, being a good wife) but they help me to focus on what’s important. I revise this list every 6 months and make sure that what I’m doing on a daily basis matches what I am working toward in my life. Secondly, I keep a "to do" list for the week and one for just today. I try to map out a schedule of the day and stick to it. I do allow myself time for updating my status on facebook or chatting when I need some adult interaction (and God knows we need a break sometimes!) Although this works for me, I realize that different things help different people.

I received my black belt in karate 2 years ago from Mr. Stuarts Martial Arts. Not only did I learn to defend myself and get in excellent shape but I learned the art of self discipline, focus and structure. These skills are priceless in a culture full of playgroups, cell phones, media, and distraction. We all have out gifts and talents but being pulled in a million directions prevents us from being successful in anything. Learning to focus is a great tool that can help us accomplish anything we set our mind to do.

Whatever works for you, write it down and stick to it! Take one step at a time to accomplish the things you want and make it happen!!

For more info. on the martial arts program go to: http://www.mrstuartsmartialarts.com/
or call 610-888-8212

The best things in life are free..

My husband and I started to plan our weekend. Summer is here and this summer we have a little baby to tend to. Things are a little different. Last summer we would go out for a run, go to a Phillies game or sit out and have drinks outside a restaurant in West Chester.
This year we have a baby in tow. We couldn’t decide on what to do. Sesame place? Nah…she won’t get any enjoyment out of it. Phillies game? Nah…too much work for an infant (and again…she won’t get any enjoyment out of it!) Some of my friends were heading to the park with the COOL jungle gym-nah-she’s too little. The beach? Nah…Too much sun and again…she won’t enjoy it! So…what do we do? We decided to make our on fun and for once…make people come to us. Bar-b-que at our house it is!

We had some friends and family over, enjoyed each others company and the great weather. So, the lesson I learned from Baby Sienna this week is to enjoy the simple things. She doesn’t need a $50.00 ticket to the Phillies or a trip to the beach. Sienna simply needs a place to sleep and a little rattle to make her laugh. A walk around the neighborhood, food, and lots of love.

As I did some work around the house, and had a slow dance with my husband, I remembered to be present and enjoy the little things in life-and guess what…the best things in life really are free.