SO, I just got home from girls weekend with my favorite girls! I had such a great time! Sunshine, laughs, wine, good food, and silliness! It was so great to have uninterrupted adult conversations without having to chase after my one year old. I loved taking a walk by myself on the beach while smelling the ocean and enjoying the beautiful scenery. Also, walking to the beach is considerably easier with out a million bags, strollers that don't move in the sand, and a thousand toys!
Although the weekend was so fun, I did have one issue. We went out to our old hangout and consumed some adult beverages. After a while, we decided to head to the dance floor...that is where I had an embarrassing meltdown!! I was dancing with my friends to the songs when it occurred to me that I didn't recognize the last 4 songs played. I quickly began sobbing like a lunatic and ran to the bathroom (like a teenager who's boyfriend just broke up with her!) Fortunately, I am lucky enough to have a friend that chased after me, listened to me, then sternly told me "Snap out of it, it's time to get back to the dance floor!"
Well, here's the deal...I was crying because I felt like I had lost 'Toni' and I felt like I only knew my identity as 'mom' lately. I felt like I had no idea what was going on in the world (outside of the daily routine of changing diapers, chasing my daughter, and watching Yo Gabba Gabba!). How could I let this happen? I am usually so good about recognizing when I need me time and making time for myself. Also, my husband is always willing to take over if I need a break. What the heck?!
Well, the truth is, the week before had been a rough one! My daughter had the stomach flu and she was still not 100% when I left for my trip. I was stressed out and had not slept very much the whole week (and adding alcohol to the mix probably did not help the situation!) I'm sure that these factors made it hard to transition from pediatrician's office to the dance club. (However, the transition did finally happen the next day and I was able to relax and unwind quite a bit!)
Here are the lessons I learned from this experience....
1. Be proactive in scheduling 'me' time before getting overwhelmed (even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood!)
2. It's difficult to transition from mom to me in just a few hours! I also, have this problem sometimes when I am on a date night with my hubby and start talking about kids instead of just being a wife and a friend to the hubby.
3. Lady Gaga and Katy Perry (not sure if I spelled that correctly!) have hit songs that I should at least know some of the words to....and if not I can just pretend by saying the words "mashed potato, mashed potato" (this was one of my friends ideas! She says she does this in church when she doesn't know the words and it works!)
4. Great friends are a great treasure not to be taken for granted! Although these events don't happen often, I need to make time for those special moments which reenergize me and make me feel like me again!