Last Friday rolled around and my husband says to me, "Hunny, we have nothing planned for this weekend, right?" I responded by saying, "Nothing? We never have nothing planned!"
I admit it, I am a schedule nazi and could not live without my schedule or to do list. Just like any mother, my to do list never ends and I often feel guilty when I am just relaxing or even having an unplanned day! There is just TOOO much to be done (and I only have 1 child!).
Today I managed to enjoy a day with my family even though I had no list, schedule or agenda. Many times throughout the day, I felt lost and unproductive but I reminded myself that spending quality time with the family is in fact productive. Also, I don't have to be in charge all the time!
So, why do i do that to myself so often? Why do I go through my day feeling like everything i am doing (even if it's relaxing) needs to be productive? Why can't I just enjoy the moments like I preach about so often?
As a stay at home mom, my job often overlaps with my home life. I feel like I am a good stay at home mom because I often view it as a job and I take my job description seriously. But where does it begin and where does it end? Because I view my weekdays as work (and I am the CEO!) it's hard for me to adjust when the hubby comes home and gives his ideas for discipline, organization, or pretty much anything else! At times I feel like saying, "Don't tell me how to do my job! I am the CEO of this freakin' house!!" It can be quite a challenge to juggle the roles. Perhaps it would be easier if I installed a time clock at the front door? No, I would have to attach it to my hip?!
What I am trying to say is that I think I learned an important lesson this weekend! It can feel good to give up control and allow my hubby to take the lead! As hard as it is to let go of the reigns, the whole family benefits if I step back at times and just enjoy the moments! Having the ability to know when to step back and when to take the reigns can be challenging but not impossible.
Well, every day in motherhood is a learning experience! Hopefully, I can get better at going with the flow and enjoying a day when it takes a path in a direction I didn't intend! I still think planning is a good thing, but perhaps I need to accept the fact that I'm not the only one in this house with a plan!