I had a man tell me one time that if I wanted to make my husband happy I should shut up. Boy, was I pissed after that comment. But I went home and thought a lot about it and I think he has a point.
Women like to talk about issues because it makes us feel better (which is sometimes a good thing). But sometimes it isn't. What I try to remember is that I am now including the person I am telling into the situation.
Technology today makes it VERY easy for us to over communicate. I was on my way to my friends house last week. I had never been there before and I was using my GPS to navigate my way. I started getting worried that the GPS was wrong and called my friend (who I was going to visit). She could not figure out where I was and could not help me. I hung up the phone and realized that not only was I frustrated and worried, she is now frustrated and worried about my whereabouts (and not able to help me!). What was my point in calling her? I think I would have been better off trusting my GPS and paying attention to what was going on around me.
What about Facebook? I could write a whole book about this topic! If you are on facebook, I am sure you have feelings about how people communicate via facebook. Basically, my feeling is that people should remember (myself included) that their comments may be being read by 200 or so people. I try to be careful of "gossiping"-it does not make me look good and what I'm saying could get back to the person who you are talking about (even if they aren't on facebook!) Would I stand on a stage in an auditorium and say my comment in front of 200 people? Also, if I am posting a comment that is personal, I may regret it! If I post a comment about my child, I think of how my child may feel down the road if everyone knows their personal business (developmental delay or behavior issues come to mind).
Here's another scenario. Let's say I am having an argument with someone. If I continue to argue or try to prove my point then I am engaging in the debate. Attempting to prove something that may not need to be proven, may look as though I am unsure of my own point. I try to ask myself, do I really need to prove this point or would saying nothing be more productive?
To sum it up, I think we do need to shut up sometimes! Maybe the man who told me this could have put it a little nicer! LOL! However, I try to remind myself that sometimes saying nothing is actually saying something!
Finally, here's a tip to help keep things simple and enjoy the moments....
If you are home with the kids during the day, give your significant other some downtime when he walks in the door at the end of the day. I know it's hard when you have not had adult conversation all day, but it can be very overwhelming to walk in the door and be bombarded with every issue you faced during the day. Even if it's 10 minutes, it may help both of you ease into your evening.